i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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