What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
