Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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