drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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