this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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