I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have peed in a lot of sinks
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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