Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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