True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
