it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
