I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is Oprah even human
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
