I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
