Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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