she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
