He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
