i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
