Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize