How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I love you.
Bad choice
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
