Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
high people should be assigned attendants
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize