Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
