Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
