Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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