Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions