...is it true? will i see you next weekend
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick