You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
