a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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