Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Im part way to drunk.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
