she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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