good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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