The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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