No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
