My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize