How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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