I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
