She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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