So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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