I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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