@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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