The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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