oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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