like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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