Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
