you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
