i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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