She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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