just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
