K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she told me i tasted like america
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize