Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize