i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
