there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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