i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
