I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I party with great urgency now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize