I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
