"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I still have a little drunk in my system
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
