brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
