Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
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Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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