Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize