finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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