Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I checked into jail on foursquare
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decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
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My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize