i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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