Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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